ghost of you-

Saturday, February 3

woh hectic week.

og dinner on tues at jp pizza hut! hoho. quite cool. 19 of us! so many tables joined together.. extended all the way out. nice. same as our 6r gatherin last yr. but this time was super amusing other than the part when i got quite irritated wif xunkai. haha there was this performer on stage outside.. frm beijing de. yeah producing sounds n tunes by hitting his cheeks. haha den he was makin some funny noise oso. same sound tt ethan was makin when ethan was blowing into the cut straws. super cool. so ethan was imitating him as tt guy was performing. den tt guy wanted someone to go onstage to check if he had any gimmicks in his mouth to produce those sounds. haha so we saboed ethan up. super funny la he cant realli understand chinese.. summore tt guy's beijing accent v strong.. so ya ethan was v blur. so tt guy wanted another person up on stage to b a translator. dunno y they saboed xunkai up. waa super funny la he did direct translation for everything. n his english sux. haha. summore we were all in uniform. wanted to hide lo hahaha. but it was damn amusing n fun =)

studied econs n piaed gp tt nite till 250am. 2 aqs. waa. n woke up at 545 to make breakfast for wm cos he stayed over at my house =D he went to slp at 1am n asked me to wake him up at 2.. so i tried wakin him up at 2 la. scary leh haha he like damn pissed n irritated when i kept tickling him. ya he just refused to wake up. tt stupid pig. so ok lo let him slp haha. i gave up too anw.

next morning. was so super super tired la omg. i realli cant tahan the lack of slp de. summore had to take econs test. waa in the general office. super irritating leh the tchrs were all talking so damn loudly.. n mr koh was scolding a guy there abt his hair for dunno how long. rarr. i almost died tt day anw. was cramping like siao plus i was super tired.

broke down tt afternoon again. supp to have dragon dance training. smsed everyone le but some din reply. assumed tt they wld come anw since our performance on sat. asked shi gu to come too. so ok shi gu n wanping came. b4 tt i was calling my teammates n going arnd the sch to look for them. anw shigu waited. n waited. n a few of us waited.. called again den wtf 3 of them not coming. onli got 4 of us. pls lo how to train dragon la. so there we were in the room. i was standing there feeling super helpless n guilty. den the wushu coach happened to b still arnd. n he asked y i wasnt arnd to see how the guys were doin for their performance prep. den he touched on sth abt me being the chairman. den woh i jus cldnt take it. went out n started crying.

itz like. i din expect tt my team wld fall apart at such a crucial period of time la. 3 just pangseh like tt. we onli got 7 ppl leh. summore shi gu has been helping us for so long.. n shes not getting paid at all.. just bcos shes not our official sch coach. wahlao shes doin it out of goodwill leh n we did this to her. wah felt super bad lo. thanks to puiyeng n the rest of my teammates for being so understanding n caring. n too shi gu too for being so understanding oso. anw woh cool some yu hong suddenly arrived. so yayy we cld train dragon =)

thurs. haa cant rmb wad happened.

ytd. did some prep for love fiesta! den had lion dance training for a while, followed by love fiesta rehearsal. okok la went home at 8 plus. me zhiming n aiting were competing in cutting the lips stuff on the papers the fastest. n mr chua was doin the commentatory at the side. haha super funny.

went home n i went crazy. complicated stuff la. i noe wm's super busy but i just got super irritated tt hes so uncontactable. so i kept tryin to call him. haha woh he said i called 68 times. hahaha. yeah i was realli crazy.

love fiesta today! yayy. was quite messy at first but it got better. was spreadin margarine on the hotdog buns. yay fun. den went to ld room to change n prepare to go to s'pore buddhist lodge to welcome our president, mr. nathan. =O haha. quite cool la. my hair got super messy on the lorry. woh anw my role was neither as the lion nor to play the instruments. i was supp to go welcome the president n direct him to walk through the lions. haa anw ya it was quite fun la. he was askin me which sch we're frm. den he took foto wif all of us aft tt too. ah but the shot on our tchr's camera not v gd la. too many other photographers n ppl in front blocking.

rushed back to sch aft tt for dragon dance performance. hoho. yupp it was ok la not v good lo. ahh but yeah it was fun n cool too.

cant rmb wad i was doin aft tt. helped arnd a bit here n there at the stall. walked arnd a bit here n there too. yay damn happy to see xinfei, lejing, xiuling, deborah n hannah! so long no see them lo. haha when mr leow was abt to get dunked.. there was the bidding. bryan biddedat 50 bucks liao.. dunno who at 60 la. den at 70.. wm itchy hand la tsk tsk tskkkkk he raised his hand. hahha. den O.O aft tt realli no one else bidded. so gg haha wm has to pay 70 bucks lo. haha. he got to dunk mr leow twice though. haha but realli dunno how hes gonna get the money. n when mr koh our principal was gettin dunked.. uhh ok la most ppl were there to watch onli. haha. summore when we turned arnd.. saw the tchrs all lookin out of the windows frm the 2nd storey. like o.O they all had tt evil cheeky smiles on their faces.. all holdin their phones to take photos of mr koh. it was a super funny sight la i was quite shocked at 1st. n they din wanna contribute in giving some money for the bidding haha.

uncle ringo rides! sat on the centrifuge thingy again. haha sat tt durin the funfair at nanyang last yr. yay went wif wm. fun la. but was feelin damn giddy n a bit sick aft tt. haha den later in the evening we went for another ride. umm itz like the rainbow ride at escape theme park.. just smaller.. n faster o.O hahahaha i realli sit until i wanna cry leh. it just kept going on n on. damn scary but excitin oso la. summore my seat belt got prob.. super loose. so i had to hold on super tightly. at 1st phew thought ended liao when it went down n paused. den O.O still got summore! hahaa. fun fun! damn crazy.

anw our stall. waa cut the prices a lot. cup corn was the best sellin thing! had hotdogs, hotdog buns, soup, n chips oso. hmm okok la. v hard to sell la. so many other food stalls. another 2 hotdog stalls.. blah. so yeah. dunno la. think our profit not a lot. but it was a good effort together as a claz. so great job s01! it was a nice experience la even though we were all damn tired. ahahha thanks to loycus too. he seemed like he was almost perpetually at the stall.

i wanted to dance mass dance. but no partner >(

anw yaa v fun la. the whole thing was quite smooth. but dunno y this whole event doesn seem like a v big scale thing to me leh. oso din feel tt a lot a lot of ppl came. hmm dunno. ya im damn tired alr so im off to slp. haha.

tmr's axel's 1st birthday! yay my dear nephew is turning 1! haha. my bro's havin a chalet at aloha changi tmr. haha. gg lo monday complex no. test.. im realli prepared to fail it. summore i dun even care abt it o.O oops. nvm i will i WILL try to study n practise a bit of it tmr.

goodnite.

haunted ;
time;8:33 PM

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Tuesday, January 30

i din go to school today. n for once the reason is because im too stressed. yeah. i dont know how much tears ive shed these weeks. ever since the holidays. ive realli been tryin to be strong. but i just cant. for my teammates, for my friends, for myself, for him, i realli realli wanna be strong. n i have to be. was crying again ytd nite as i was tryin to study for econs. damn. realli couldnt continue at all. plus my grandma was makin a lot of noise asking for medicine again cos she couldnt sleep.. tt was at 11 plus yeah.. n my dad kept shouting at her.. ah same problems again too. n he threatened to jump off the building to commit suicide again. i actualli had the same sentiments. then i thought abt my dad. i guess it isnt easy for him still working in the service line at his age. must be super stressful. ive seen him change. because we've changed. he doesnt care about me anymore. he doesnt know how to express himself much.. so i used to think tt he didnt care about me.. which wasnt true. but i guess itz more true now. he doesnt ask about my work anymore. he doesnt talk to me anymore. he has seen me cry a couple of times, but he doesnt ask why.. like he used to. we barely speak more than 10 sentences to each other each day.

i think many ppl may think tt im happy. but i dun even know if i am. itz nice tt ppl usualli see the nicer side of other ppl. but envy? y should there even be. i dun like comparing my life with others. so i dun realli envy others. even if other ppl may seem to b happier or more smooth-sailing in their lives, i know tt itz just because i dont see their problems. it definitely takes a lot of effort, mental strength n optimism n faith to be there.

today's the 30th.. tmr's the 31st. 2 years back on this date i thought i was the happiest.. but definitely not anymore. n i cant even rmb wad happened.. ah nvm i dont know wad to say.

right now i know i cant be even more fortunate. crazy wm cycled to my house durin his break just now =) i know we've still got our problems, n i know we've both got our own super tight schedules this week. but thanks for being so understanding n always being here by my side.

haunted ;
time;1:09 PM

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Monday, January 29

"28/01/07

wanyi....
sha dong gua. hehe. wanyi, we haf been together for oni a short 4 plus months n i feel tt i had known you fer so so long le. you crazy crazy woman. hmm, altough i am not in a sad mood now, i juz felt like bloggin de times when you were down. =x you are a super swinger laz. one dae mood swing 4 times. super scary can. but sometimes you juz look so cute when u are pissed wif me but when u see me u juz cant help but smile. wahaha. somemore scarin ur fren by doin tt. wahaha. soooo CUTE!! x) anw these feel daes have been very tough fer both of us. i tink u are more stressed ba. hmm. for some reasons i haf always been makin u feelin in a bad mood. although sometimes i do not see why, i still feel very bad. i am juz so glad tt even though i am pissin you every oth dae u still haf such a strong faith in our relationship, even though everytime you are feelin down, you will still try to smile. even though i am so lousy you will sae i am not, even though you realli dun like de way i am doin tings you still gave me de freedom to be who i wan to be. seriously, how lucky can i be to haf you. i tink i realli fell in love you. because of you, i started not to take a smile fer granted. because of you, i started to be more sensitive towards not only you but oth ppl as well. because of you, i understand how sucky it feels to see someone you love to be feelin down. because of you, i understand how to cry. because of you, i noe how vulnerable love can be. i understand not a hug n 3 words of "i love you" can solve everyting. i understand what it takes to build a strong relationship. i understand how it feels to be out of love when u r in love. n i understand love is not juz a feelin. hmm. judgin frm de amt of tings u taught me. you are a great teacher!! LOL. ok crap. anw this 3 words are fer you.

i love you=)

yayy. no matter how long tis will last, i am glad to haf you.

=))hoho, i am de happiest man on earth. muacks." -weiming

haunted ;
time;8:53 PM

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friday. i din continue tt entry anymore cos i was cryin. o.O oops. yeah it was one of the worst nites for me. hafnt cried so hard alone for damn long. i just felt defeated n torn apart. i even told wm over the phone tt i din wanna see him. just din seem to b able to take those same old frustrations anymore. cant rmb wad realli happened.. was cryin over the phone.. den wm started singing to me over the phone. super sweet la siao. den he started cryin oso =/ n i cldnt help but keep cryin. was just crushed by myself wif who i am. crazy guy ran to my house in the rain to see me. talked.. n the nite ended well ba. again. hai just how lucky i am to always have him by my side. n i just dunno wad to do to make this r/s better. we both have faith in it.. but we just dunno wad to do la haiya.

mm i din manage to blog abt last week.. er cant rmb wad happened on tues. there was the j1s leaders' thingy goin on at nite. went there aft studyin at the lib. ya i was suepr crazy at the lib.. so ya we were v noisy. the leaders' thing. aiya nothing much la it was endin alr. n actualli i cant realli b bothered abtg the j1 leaders stuff. just try n guide the juniors in any way i can la. ya cos i notice they'll misinterpret some stuff sometimes la yeah. went home feelin quite unhappy.. but din think much abt it also. i just cant understand him la hai.

on wed.. talked during break. wohh i was cryin in the canteen. damn siao la like first time cry in sch durin a normal sch day. was still cryin durin bio pract. just felt v sorry tt i dun understand him. nvm itz complicated. den cldnt tahan wushu trng cos i was having headache.. plus lion dance was goin on at the same time so i went to lnmess to slp. so ya i was feelin quite high n energetic durin dragon dance aft tt. hahaha took my bicyle tt was in sch n cycled arnd wif hwee ting. oops heh we din noe cannot cycle on the track.. n we actualli cycled 1 n a half rounds then got stopped by the guard. while cyclin back to the ld room i lost my balance n fell. n i was feelin super high n laughing like crazy.. den realised my left knee was bleeding AGAIN. n my right ankle there was bruised. went to wm's house for dinner. was havin gastric. hai had to wait for him mah haha. lousy mood again. cried again. n now i feel so numb when i cry cos ive gotten so used to all of these shit. the tears tt keep flowing down my cheeks non stop.. just dun seem to mean much to me anymore. until when i saw him cry.. my heart melted n i forgot abt everything. so yeah it was a crazy day.. mood swing 4 times la. good to bad n bad to good n good to bad n bad to good. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

thurs nite. cant rmb wad happened. but i finally agreed to takin a break frm each other for a wk. think cos i was feelin pissed again cos the probs were back.. n theres realli nothing we noe of to salvage the r/s at tt moment.

so yeah it was a long long long crazy week.

on sat. cool. went for lunch at penang kitchen near coronation.. n den mudpie n tehtarik icecream at island creamery at serene. yayyy yum. den went macritchie. haha wm looked weird in the super short fbts. ok la quite cool. hehh waited damn long ast the canteen for his race to start. super cold la it was raining. haa anw finalli it started. ooo saw kaiming too. n kaiming came him 2nd for mens under 20.. wif a timing of arnd 18 mins ba.. for 5.1plus km? haha. haiya expected 1 la. n i thot weiming did v well leh. din expect to see him so soon cos i thot landdis wld b b4 him. like wohh super cool la wm got a timing of 19min 50 sec. yay tt's my boy! yay so proud of him. but he din think it was good. rarr. haha considerin he din train much leh. so yess i noe he can do a lot a lot better for nationals! =) yay jiayou!

went toapayoh n plaza sing aft tt. ahahha. went to eat.. walk arnd.. permanently planted ourselves in carrefour to play on those keyboards. super cool la. so fun! den got super attracted by the fragrance of toast from toast box o.O went in immediately haha. but ehh okok onli la not say v nice =(

sun. went for ld trng in sch. wa siao damn tired n giddy la. hahaha. practised cymbals n drums. just made me feel like vomitting. too loud la. but ya it was alright.

today almost killed me. was actualli alr feelin quite stressed abt econs test tmr.. suepr lots of gp stuff due on wed.. n wushu music for love fiesta performance due on wed morning. it was quite bad alr. until miss ling talked to me.. like wtf. this sat other than wushu n dragon dance performance for love fiesta.. we still hafta go down to singapore buddhist lodge in the morning to perform lion dance?! like when our lion dance is so totalli not ready n we onli got one lion. summore the routine we're now learnin is for cny.. so ya itz rather different. PLUS PLUS PLUS. the NTU lion dance display blah shit thing still on on the 10th feb. at 1st thot itz on the 3rd so we dun hafta go. but now we hafta COMPETE in lion dance. n ya as i just said our lion dance is not ready. so gg. haha. so yupp to summarise.. we haf 3 performances this sat.. 1 competition next sat.. n lion dance performance for cny. so tts 5 in 2 weeks. yay.

i was so stressed tt i cried at the cafe aft i talked to miss ling. den wm came up.. n i was laughing n cryin at the same time like a mad woman.

so haiya wdv la die liao we're dead.

haunted ;
time;8:05 PM

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